Not everything is for everyone. And that’s okay.

One of the things I’ve noticed recently on my journey to an autism diagnosis is that my filter for controversy is completely and irrevocably broken.

When I worry that something I write or share is going to be controversial is when I get the MOST vocal support from folks saying, “yes, me too.”

Instead, it’s the posts that I think are fine that frequently generate the most ire. I just shared a funny meme, and suddenly the villagers are in my DMs with pitchforks.

This post falls somewhere in the middle of that Venn Diagram conceptually.

Because things that seem perfectly obvious to me are often...not obvious to other people? Huh.

And so, it’s from a place of curiosity that I would like to talk about this.

It’s just that I’ve been wondering, when did we decide that everything has to be for everybody?

When did we decide that if I don’t like something, you can’t like it either?

Even worse, when did we decide that if I like something you don’t, that makes me a bad person?

Like, to the point of condemnation?

I’m not interested in being the devil’s advocate. That guy already has spectacular attorneys on retainer.

If you have a shitty opinion, you have a shitty opinion.

But when did we decide that I should castigate you repeatedly about your shitty opinion? Instead of what seems like a much more pleasant alternative of just...ignoring the fuck out of you?

I asked on social media yesterday about people’s special interests.

Chickens, gardens, true crime, makeup, the Titanic, and one Ph.D. in Pearl Jam, among other things.

My only interest in chickens is eating them, and I regularly offer my radio some cheese to go with that whine when I hear Eddie Vedder on the CLASSIC ROCK STATION. Then I rapidly change the channel and cry about how old I am.

And that’s fine.

In the abstract.

When we get down to specifics though, will you still not care? (And will you still be a fan of my work? We’ll see.)

Because I’m not canceling Spotify just because some people think Joe Rogan is credible.

He’s a professional interviewer. Arguably a great one. And that’s it.

He’s so good at playing dumb that people just CAN’T WAIT to tell him all the ways that they’re smarter than him and everyone else, in such detail that they tell on themselves.

That doesn’t make any of Joe’s PERSONAL opinions credible. I mean, I watched Fear Factor. I remember.

I’m also certainly not fucking listening—that shit lasts for hours. I don’t have time for that bullshit.

But it’s not my problem if people refuse to recognize that it’s a radio show.

And, it’s not really Joe’s problem, either?

Where exactly is his responsibility for other people’s behavior?

This is the crux of the parasocial relationship.

Despite our perceived relationship with someone, they have no actual obligation or responsibility for our behavior.

Hey, and speaking of Harry Potter...I don’t care if JK Rowling is a TERF, either.

We talk about this on Latchkey Movies regularly, but at the end of the day, it’s in everyone’s best interest to separate the art from the artist if you can.

What I’ve learned after THREE YEARS next month (!!!) of talking about kid’s movies is that most creators are honestly terrible people. And I just don’t have the energy to tell my kids they can’t watch their favorite movies because the actors doing the voices suck.

If you need an example of this, I encourage you to listen to our review of Kung Fu Panda. We barely even talk about the movie.

And this both is and isn’t about cancellation.

In fact, this meme is particularly ironic, given that both Louis CK and R. Kelly are STILL getting airtime. Fuck, even child molesters are trying to sneak in with new branding. They call themselves minor-attracted persons now.

So, canceled by whom? For how long?

And, here’s the part that’s key for me. To what end?

Cui bono? (That’s Latin for who benefits.)

Who benefits from your outrage???

It’s also important to note that we all have personal lines in the sand. If JK’s trans views are an insurmountable problem for you, that’s fine.

I do my best to boycott China. I skipped the Olympics. I refuse to use TikTok.

Sometimes, I do the exhausting mental gymnastics of buying something from WalMart because it was manufactured in Vietnam, versus buying something on Amazon because it was made in China.

And so we’re clear, all of these options are shitty.

I mean, maybe these guys benefit.

And if that’s the case, you know what the solution is, right?

Keep your head down, stay in your fucking lane, and take that shit BACK.

Some examples of actual self-made billionaires?

Oprah. Taylor Swift. Tony Robbins. Beyoncé. Kanye.

I’m not a huge fan of all of them, either, but again, happy to take what works for me (writing this to the 10-minute version of All Too Well on repeat), and leave the rest.

And when I say leave it, I mean leave it.

I have almost 2000 words on Kanye’s bipolar breakdown, and why his personal actions are so damaging to mental health care at large. It’s probably a good essay.

But it’s punching down at someone’s mental illness, instead of doing my own work. It doesn’t matter if he’s famous.

Because I HAVE been there. And I have a choice. So I let it go.

Not everything is for everybody.

And it shouldn’t be.

Listen. I don’t ask often, but if you liked this one, do me a solid and share? It’ll offset all the folks who got mad and left.